So my “10-Day Window” expired in early September and I was wondering when I would hear from TV Licensing again. On Friday the letter arrived and it wasn’t just any letter. No, they pulled out all the stops and sent me a red letter:

No plain envelope, but a bright red one. From the “The Legal Occupier” I knew it was going to be from TV Licensing. So what would they say this time?

WE DID NOT HEAR FROM YOU.
This address is still unlicensed

No, really? You don’t say. Of course it is unlicensed. Because it doesn’t need one. Which I would have told you ages ago if you had been a bit friendlier. But you chose violence.

We wrote to tell you we were giving you 10 days to get correctly licensed – free from the risk of an enforcement visit.

Which I did. I didn’t get a licence as I don’t need one. So my side of the job is done as far as I’m concerned.

Your case has been escalated to the Enforcement Team covering [full post code], so you can now expect a visit from an Enforcement Officer.

Wow, a whole team covering 29 flats? Isn’t that a bit much? I’ll be waiting. Well, not really. If they’re lucky I’ll even open the door, to tell that no licence is needed at my address. And that would be it.

PS: I expect no visit any time soon will happen, just more pointless threatening letters.